


In Other Words: I Love You

by orphan_account



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Jer loves jazz and the blues, Jeremy has depression and anxiety, Jeremy is basically alone in life, Librarian (?) Miss Griffon (OC), M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, i'm emotionally attached to this story whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-02 22:00:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14554428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jeremy Heere. A guy that likes it simple. So what will a guy who likes being quiet and calm do when he meets a guy that is the total opposite? How will this encounter change how he treats his everyday life?(I'm bad at summaries uhh just read it (actually don't read it I'm garbage at writing))





	In Other Words: I Love You

Jeremy considered himself invisible. He liked it that way. Being able to slip through the crowds at school, teachers never had anything bad to say besides advice on how he should talk more. It had always been that way. It’s like he was complaining.

He had a simple life. Because of his lack of… anyone being involved in his life that gave him large amounts of free time. He usually spent it by studying or listening to music on his phone. On good days he would treat himself to going up to the library and talking to his favorite person.

So he may have lied about not having anyone. Sure his dad was around but never present due to his new job. Ever since the divorce, he became a workaholic to avoid his feelings. Jeremy never tried to talk to him about it. He tried to stay distant. Fewer people equals fewer things to worry about. 

But the one person that was always there for Jeremy was an older woman who worked in the part of the library where you can buy used books for really cheap. Paperbacks were only 50 cents each and hardcovers were only 2 dollars! Talk about a score. 

The first time Jeremy encountered the store was when he was being forced to do a school project that was  _ supposed  _ to be a partner project. Alone of course. He got stuck with some popular jock that just assumed since Jeremy was the quiet, loner kid in class that he would do all the work and then he could slap his name on the project last minute to get the points.

He decided to go to the library to borrow a book for his project. When he finished most of it he put the book back and decided to walk around a little. He went back to the entrance of the library and noticed a small little shop next to the gift shop. He walked in considering there wasn’t anyone else there.

 

_ “Hello?” He looked around and saw no one. There were only two rows and each side was filled with books. He walked up to the mystery section and saw a card near the sign. Hardcovers: Two Dollars Each ($2), Paperbacks: Fifty Cents Each (50 _ _ ¢) _

_ He was thumbing through some books shifting from genre to genre until he heard a thump. He looked behind him and an old lady had fallen onto the floor while carrying some books. _

_ “Are you okay ma’am?” He asked as he walked over to her. _

_ “Ahh, I’ll be fine. I may not look it, but I still got groove in these here hips.” _

_ Jeremy laughed. He took her hand while and helped her back up. She leaned back down to pick the box of books up but Jeremy had learned enough from his mom at a young age to always respect your elders and women. _

_ “I can get that ma’am. Here.” He had gathered the books and handed them to her. She smiled and went to sit at her desk/cashier. _

_ “So what’s your name young man?” _

_ “Jeremy, ma’am.”  _

_ “Oh stop with ma’ams. You can call me Miss Griffon, Jeremy.” _

_ “Uhm. Right.” He took the awkward silence to take a good look at Miss Griffon. She had her white hair pulled into a bun with some stripped bobby pins. _

_ “Well since you’re here I assume you either thought this was the gift shop and walked in here accidentally or you want to buy a book.” When she smiled Jeremy couldn’t help a little smile back at her. _

_ “No Ma- Miss. I was just wondering what was in here. I never knew you could buy books at a library.” _

_ “Older copies of books get sent here when a new copy gets put on the shelves. Sometimes people donate as well. We’ve had a growing collection over the years. You can have a look around if you haven’t already.” _

_ Jeremy nodded and gave her a little grin before heading off to scan through the bookcases. After a few minutes, he saw a name that caught his eye. The Secret Life of Bees. He read the back and it sounded like something he would read so he flipped to a random page. Jeremy usually did this when he wanted to get a feel for how the author writes.  _

_ It seemed like a good choice. He walked back over to Miss Griffon and placed his choice on the counter. He reached into his back pocket for two dollars. _

_ “Oh my! Not only do I stumble upon a young man with great manners, but also a good taste in books!” Jeremy scratched his neck because he didn’t exactly know what to say when an old woman was fawning over you like her grandson. He wouldn’t admit it, but behind being embarrassed he kind of liked the way the woman talked to him. _

_ He never saw his grandparents on either side of his family so he didn’t interact with older people much. Well besides his teachers, but Jeremy didn’t enjoy talking to them. _

_ “Alright well here you go and here’s your receipt.” _

_ “Ah. Thank you.” He took the receipt and slid into the first page to use as his bookmark. _

_ “Oh, you do that as well? Definitely is convenient, isn’t it? Well, you enjoy the book. Hope to see you back again Jeremy.” _

_ “Thank you, Miss.” Jeremy slightly nodded before walking out of the store and making sure the door didn’t slam. _

 

Miss Griffon was the only person Jeremy had ever talked to without immediately feeling uncomfortable or anxious. She was his  _ favorite  _ person. He hoped she could say the same to him. Ever since that first encounter he went back to the library whenever he could. Even if she wasn’t working on that day he liked to just sit in the little store and read a book.

So this was his life. His simple life. Only two people were involved and that was Miss Griffon and his dad. He liked it that way. Being a loner in his eyes was the best way to live. He didn’t have time for friends or other family. And it’s not like he wanted nor needed anyone else. So  _ why  _ just  _ why _ did he so happen to be right in front of some random dude chugging a large slushie from 7/11. And why exactly did that sight lead him to having a mental breakdown and passing out on the sidewalk?

It went a little something like this:

 

When Jeremy went to open up the fridge he realized that they were out of milk. He decided to plan a quick trip to go buy some milk and maybe some eggs for breakfast the next day. He choose to walk to the nearest gas station.

Once he arrived he quickly went in the 7/11, grabbed a jug of milk, a carton of eggs, and paid for his stuff. He tried his best not to make human contact but failed once he realized that he had to do the basic people ritual called “small talk” with the cashier. Yeah, well he definitely kept it small.

“Have a good day sir.”

“Mmm. You too.”

He frantically walked out almost tripping over air while trying to leave. While briskly mom-speed-walking to the sidewalk a person from out of the corner of his eye made him turn and stare. 

He saw a person with his head tilted back gulping down a slushie. If Jeremy had, to be honest, this guy looked like a complete idiot. It wasn’t his fault that this act of stupidity drew a laugh out of him. He stopped not only because he hates his laugh and doesn’t ever let it come out, but because the slushie chugger guy turned his head so fast that Jeremy got whiplash by just watching.

Jeremy simply turned and kept walking home. He finds it best just to walk away in times of awkwardness. Why did this time have to seem so bad though? Why was his face starting to feel heated with every step? Why is he started to get worked up over nothing? The hand he was using to hold the bag of food suddenly got sweaty and wet. His heart started racing as his steps forward started getting shakier and faster.

He couldn’t believe this. Why can’t he just control his mind? Why can’t he just tell it what to do instead of having it cave in on itself? Why is he panicking about making eye contact with some rando at 7/11? Why can’t he just walk home and curl up in bed reliving this moment and hating himself for every move he made during it?

Once the questions in his head started coming they didn't stop. Jeremy felt his throat tighten up at the urge to let the tears that built up fall down his face. He suddenly couldn’t stand and let his knees fall to the ground. He didn’t care if he got a scrape from the sidewalk because he was too focused on how he started to lose feeling in his arms from breathing so fast.

The antsy feeling started to creep up his arms. Soon he was on the sidewalk huddled over. He probably looked like an idiot crouching, holding the jug of milk against his face trying to get some kind of feeling against his numb face. Anything to get himself to know that he was still indeed there on that sidewalk.

His mind was spinning. His cheeks, arms, and hands were all numb from the frantic small breathes he was taking. He couldn’t take it anymore. Jeremy sat up slowly and let himself fall back. When he expected a hard concrete floor against his head he instead got a soft fabric. He opened his eyes to see a blur of red before he dozed off into darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> I suddenly feel extremely connected to this story? Out of all of the fics I've orphaned or just wrote, in general. Well, I feel attached because I've already written some other chapters so yeye be ready. Well this was a short chapter just to introduce you to the story. Pretty simple. Sort of based on my experiences with a couple of librarians and a panic attack I once had. Anyways hope you enjoyed the start of this fic. Comments are appreciated (motivation yah know), but knowing that people are reading this just makes me really happy so ily if you read this
> 
> also oops if there are any mistakes haha it's 1 am


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